I’m sure you’ve had this experience: you go to a party, a meeting or seminar, or maybe just an informal gathering of people — friends, work colleagues, folks out in the world. Inevitably there is one person there who stands out, the center of attention, clearly the most confident, smartest, most successful. How did this person get to be that way? Blessed with talent, charisma, and brains, they go through life winning every game they play… it seems.

If you are one of those people, congratulations. But what about the rest of us? How can we hope to compete and succeed in their world, maybe even become a bit like that someday? Let’s take a look at a few charismatic successful people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and working with over the years, and then talk a bit about what we can learn from them.

The first composer I ever worked with in major network TV show scores was Stewart Levin (30-Something, Picket Fences). Before moving into composing, he played keyboards for Dionne Warwick and other entertainers, and so is comfortable around “stars”. Besides being a terrific musician and composer, I was always impressed with how at ease he seemed to be with show producers Ed Zwick, Marshall Herscowitz, and David Kelly — besides music and film, he could talk with them about other things they were interested in, hobbies, families, cars, and so forth. He’s a charmer who always has a joke to tell to break the ice.

Nelson Kole is a bundle of talent, energy, and fun. Is it his New York roots that make his mind go faster than most people I know? He has had music bursting out of him since an early age, particularly in the world of musical theater; he tells of organizing his high school plays as arranger and music director, and this past year he arranged and coached a dance number for Beyoncé and Hugh Jackman in the Academy Awards telecast. One can learn a lot from watching the way he works with a performer, making sure everything is perfect for their individual abilities — song key, range and pacing, and attention to what they can do best and what they might need help with, always with a smile.

Dan Foliart is one of the most experienced and successful television composers (Secret Life of the American Teenager, Home Improvement, the list goes on and on). Much has been written about his shows and scores, but I’d like to mention his dedication to being a leader and mentor for composers. As president of the Society of Composers and Lyricists, he has done much to defend the art and business of score music, to shine a light on successful composers and encourage up-and-coming ones, and to provide a sense of community in what is often a solitary profession. In a crowd people gather around him, but he always generously takes the opportunity to introduce folks to each other, and say something positive about each one.

It’s worth mentioning the Society of Composers and Lyricists with a bit more attention. If you are in the Los Angeles or New York area, I can’t recommend this organization highly enough. It’s a resource for composers, lyricists, as well as support professionals such as orchestrators, instrumentalists, mixers and engineers such as myself, even agents and attorneys. Will being a member get you a composing job? Maybe not directly (although perhaps as an assistant), but frequent seminar meetings have included topics such as getting the job, working with directors, musicians, engineers, editors, and software, and even effective networking techniques.

Speaking of which, one more name worth mentioning is Dan Kimpel. I met Dan in an SCL seminar on networking. He is absolutely a powerhouse expert in all things “getting the gig” through effective interaction with all kinds of folks who can help move your career forward. He is a guy who is absolutely overflowing with a million terrific techniques and ideas on how to get yourself noticed in this business in a positive way.

Dan Kimpel has written an excellent book on the subject, which is a “must read” for all: Networking Strategies for the New Music Business (You may have noticed, I think books are important.) He tells, with far more authority and detail than I could, the right (and wrong) ways to hone the connection skills that are so important in this business.

What can we learn from these bright guys? Clearly it’s important to perfect your chops as a musician, but social skills and interaction play a big part as well. Being at ease around other people comes naturally to some; for others of us it takes practice. One key tip I have learned is that “to be interesting to others, you must be interested in others”. Stewart, Nelson, and both Dans have in common that they are truly interested in and engaged by the people they come in contact with. You can tell they have a passion for what they are doing, and the people they are doing it with.

You might say, “Self-confidence comes easy for those who are successful. But what if I’m not yet at that point?” But almost everybody has had success in at least something. You don’t start out the climb at the top of the mountain. Think about what you have learned so far, and of course never stop looking for more ways to learn, grow, and practice.

And don’t forget, find a way to be a bright light to at least someone in the world. You probably already are.

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LES BROCKMANN is a Los Angeles-based recording engineer and score mixer with over 20 years experience in television music, from NORTHERN EXPOSURE (CBS) to KING OF THE HILL (Fox), feature films including the award-winning documentary GHOSTS OF ABU GHRAIB (HBO) and the cult howler TRAIL OF THE SCREAMING FOREHEAD (Larry Blamire, dir.), and video games UNCHARTED 1 & 2 (Sony/Naughty Dog). You can find his SCOREcast bio (and links to his other sites) here.